Contact Info / Websites

Random Thoughts

2009-12-07 05:52:29 by UnholyJustice

So sometimes. I get these thoughts rattling around in my head. I feel like I have an idea. It's a solid object in my mind. I turn it over and examine it from all angles. Idea's seem concrete and within my grasp, not abstract concepts. So occasionally I feel the need to throw these idea's onto paper, so to speak. This is the accumulation of a few random thoughts I've been having.

Self Diagnosis
Why do people always think they have the worst possible disease/injury? Is this a fatalist tendency? Or something more? Maybe people start typing in their symptoms into google and they get brain cancer instead of a simple nose bleed. Do they crave this more serious illness? Do they just want attention? So the more deadly disease they think they have, the more attention they accrue? Or is it from too much tv like E.R. and House? Or maybe deep down (subconsciously), they pity their existence so anything that ends it for them is acceptable.
Or maybe its not a personal thought at all. But a Freudian concept stemming from a traumatic childhood. Or maybe just an overbearing parent? My Father always deemed a small hip pain I got every once in a while to a genetic disease my family has that wears away at your hip bones. Essentially disolving it. This never bothered me, because I had a feeling he was wrong. But maybe it's something more repeated. Say a parent that runs their child to the hospital every time they come down with a cold. Maybe this ingrains some tendency from childhood that what you have is worse than it seems. You don't realize your doing it but it's there. Point is, your not a doctor, if your highest education in the area of medicine is high school biology, let the doctors do the diagnosing and treatment. You worry about resting and recovering.

Empathy is feeling another's pain. Not in a literal since but when they cry, you cry. When they feel hurt you feel hurt. Is every human being bred with this trait? Or is there a separation among the genders of our species. I was once asked a question. It was something along these lines, "If Tory died, would you feel pain? Would you care?" (Tory being my girlfriend)(Also this is not exactly emphatic but close enough) I thought about it for a long time. My immediate answer was yes. I would be heart broken. But then I thought about it a little bit more. Turned it over in my mind. I wondered if I would feel bad, because I would be expected to feel bad. I know that for my Grandfathers funeral. I cared. But on further introspection. I didn't. I cared, because I felt that I was expected to care. I didn't truly know the man laying in the coffin. I only knew he was my fathers father, and that I should feel something. So maybe that something was conjured up, because I felt it had to be there when it wasn't.
When I ask a friend whats wrong. I always wonder if I actually care. Or if its just some perverted curiosity thats driving me to KNOW. Do I care? Or do I want to know? Or will knowing make me care? I feel bound as a friend to ask, and listen. But am I bound to care? To feel what they feel? Or is what I'm feeling something I conjure up cause I feel it should be there? Is this common? Or am I among few? I think maybe its something guys have little of. We are not emphatic creatures. Whether by upbringing/culture or an inbred survival trait from long ago. Or is it just a way for us to feel superior to the other? We hear how they are down, and we mentally celebrate. We are of a higher standing than them.
For example. You are in a happy relationship. Your friend tells you about his unhappy relationship. Do you not feel pride? And a sense that your better than your friend. You succeeded where they failed. Of course you wouldn't openly admit it. But secretly, you feel it, and you may feel guilty for feeling it. But you can't help it. It comes unbidden to your chest. I don't know. But I wonder.

Why is it in our culture we have no sense of purpose? No sense of clear direction? We have no clear hurdles that mark us as adults. We're children until we some how prove ourselves. The Amish have their right of passage called Rumspringa. Jews have the bar mitzvah. On and on. It seems like every generation has about the same clue as to what to do as the last. No knowledge to pass down, no wisdom to impart on the children. At least when your an Eskimo. You know your purpose. You fish, you raise a family, you build igloo's, and you die. We all collectively are running around with our heads cut off. Some teachers claim they still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Hell we are allowed to go die in a war far from home, but not consume alcohol. Obviously we have no idea what we are doing. Every once in a while a mass of scared parents, or "activists" rather, comes along and makes changes to our society, because they think their idea is right. Prohibition is a shining example. Instead of the end of crime and drunkenness, it actually spawned some of the most terrifying crime lords the United States has ever seen.
Why is it we have no idea where we are going? I would almost prefer a path laid out for me. Here is what your going to strive for in life. Get to it. Instead its constant confusion and doubt. Eskimo's don't kill themselves, confused american teenagers, and stressed corporate workers do. Why is that? Maybe because the Eskimo know's his purpose in life, and is content to fit into the great wheel of life. The rest of us scramble around. Confused. Stressed. Scared.

Stress seems to stem from caring to much. Rather than floating down the river and occasionally steering around a rock. Your frantically paddling up river, avoiding fast moving ice chunks. Everything needs your attention, it needs your care. The more you care the more stressed you get. Sure. You have finals coming up. Study. Review what you got. And be happy with the work you've put forth in preparation for the test. Don't get worked up about the outcome. It hasn't happened yet. Why worry about what hasn't happened? Deal with problems as they come, not imagine non-problems becoming problems all the time. Throwing back to the Self Diagnosis topic. Don't worry about your nose bleed as brain cancer, treat it as a nose bleed until someone tells you otherwise. Its a non problem your making into a problem.
Just relax. Take a deep breath. Things have a tendency to fall into place just as correctly if you relax and proceed calm and efficient, not stressed and anxious.
Why worry about brain cancer that you probably don't have?
Why worry about your upcoming test when it hasn't happened yet?
Who cares if your grandmother is dying? She isn't dead yet. Enjoy her company now, while its here, not tainted by the thought of ever looming death.

And its just healthier for you period. Considering the effect the mind has on your body. The Placebo tests are a prime example. People that are given sugar pills are cured. All because they were fooled into thinking that this pill was the life saver. Your tricking your own body into being sick when you think about it too much. Stress is a huge factor in that. Relax. And enjoy life's simple pleasures, the paddle down the stream. Not the hard fight up river.


You must be logged in to comment on this post.